![]() There are many different chumrahs (stringencies), minhagim (customs), and hashkafot (perspectives) surrounding the wedding night and sexual intimacy as a whole.īut to bring the halachot down to the most basic level, the two most important things are having sex with the right person (your spouse) and at the proper time (while not in niddah). There is a huge range of messages that women and men will get in their respective kallah and chatan classes. Or they may have it all together, and will give and receive pleasure in a way that you are both comfortable with. They may be scared they are too caught up in the moment physically and aren’t more spiritual about it because that was the message they were told. They may worry they won’t know what to do and you’ll be disappointed. They may be just as nervous, scared, excited, or ignorant as you. So naturally, they all want it to happen right away. We tend to put men in a box and assume that because they are raging with testosterone, they must want to have sex the minute they can and have been trying to contain themselves up until their wedding night. Remember, your new husband is probably just as nervous, scared or excited as you are. But most of the time, when you’re ready, your body knows what to do! ![]() If you’ve never experienced this before, it may be hard to realize. All due to the emotions and attraction you feel for your partner, along with physical sexual stimulation. It lengthens, widens, and becomes more lubricated. Will you bleed the first time? Maybe, but it’s completely normal if you don’t.ĭuring the physiologic female sexual response, the vagina changes. Will it be uncomfortable the first time? Maybe, but it could also be great. If the physical chemistry between you two is high and you’re both totally and completely ready – go for it. On the flip side, you could also be super excited. Does it have to be the stereotypical magical amazing experience? Absolutely not. Which may make you feel less stressed about “getting it done”. There are ways to postpone your period until it happens. It actually may be a lot less anxiety provoking without the pressure. Take your time until you both want to! Until you feel a bit more comfortable entering into a new physical relationship. You don’t HAVE to have sex on your wedding night. ![]() ![]() You could be super nervous, having never touched a man before and want to take it slow. And even though I don’t think you need to have a medical degree to answer it, I’ll put in my two cents. I’m here to say that despite what you have been told, that totally depends on what you WANT to happen.Īs a gynecologist who speaks with many religious women, I get this question all the time. We have been conditioned since we were little girls to feel pretty and hopeful and excited on that special day of ours.īut what about the wedding night? What about the fear, the nervousness, the excitement, or ignorance about what naturally comes after the big party? What’s going to happen? What should happen? What are you supposed to do on your wedding night? The dress, the hair, the makeup, the pictures, the fun, the friends, the experience. Every woman looks forward to her wedding.
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